the ref

I should apologize for these thoughts I've thought
Wondering if you're achievements are really just fluff
Softened by celebrity named pillows
Vacation spots and egos
Ideas soaring like eagles
Lost in your life wondering if we're even equals...
But oh so close we are, you and I
The man you hope for for me died
You talk to me as if he were I or vice versa better yet
Lost all kinds of connection and respect to him
Upset about your neglect from him
You push me away because you won't let him in
You settle for moral victories because life taught you "forget the win"
So many foul moment but you see only the ref in him
I had to talk DOWN to my dad before I could let him in
He had to be diagnosed with Cancer before my heart could get to him
I know you've lost in the past with men
But with this one bet
But this time, bet to win.

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Can't Call It

Fear is a factor
My body simply works as reactor
To ambitious thoughts that float up
Expectations with that grow wings
But perseverance is also present
To hold my hand through reality
Protecting me from pain
Though some is healthy
Lord help me
As we both walk in the presence of sinners
Though I myself have sinned in the process of being a winner
Or least the closes thing to it.
Inspired by a painful song
Soul full of spirit
Embrace that feeling
But no need to fear it

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30 Seconds From Now

I'm tired of having this degree and nothing to show for it
Except calls from Sallie Mae, man fuck it
I'm tired of not going back to selling weed
To make the money that I feel I need
I'm tired of there being no good jobs
I spent thousands for this degree, but what's that mean to ya'll?
Nothin, so let's open up the discussion...
I remember when I was a young man
College never seemed like a plan
More like a wish
Even though back then I was taught that is a degree is what you get
Then a job will follow behind it
Reminded by this economy
That this dream of mine is more liike an inomally
But what's stopping me
From robbing a corner store as I think about it more and more
Actually you know what
I have a part time job which is more than some peoples' luck
Some people have no family, job, or motivation
I have all of the above
I guess life is tired of me bitching
Where's the love...

Bread

Money on my mind like I keep 20's in my pillow

Planting my seed in the hopes this money tree might grows

Repetition like stepping to the line for a free throw

But the pressure's on

I tried to live my life right but life taught me how to live it wrong

Saw things I didn't recognize

I just knew that what I was seeing was really wrong

Dope fiends washing the cars like what are they really on?

That wavy feeling that stunk up the whole house

From the stove to the ceiling

Late nights alone trying to sleep with that spooky feeling

Ya'll know what I'm talking about?

If not I don't really wanna illustrate it

But it's better than you watching as I demonstrate it

Made me who I am now even though back then I would hate

But I was too young to do anything about it

Helpless as I had to take it

Wait I thought this was about mula

Cheese, cheddar, gouda

Bread, ends, money mothafuckas

Bottom line is signed by "Profit Margins"

Initials by Capitalism

Realism.

collection pl8

Led in by the organ and the sounds of the bells
That act as elevator music away from Hell
A room full of winners sit amongst a room full of sinners
Looking to make a change but given cold glares like the winter season
Believing what a man who claims to be holier than thou is reading
I'm believing what I feel in my heart
That my God will shine through the dark
And that your building is not going to be that spark, a fresh start
Separated sometimes it feels like
I questioned God even though it didn't feel right
But my Yai said she also did it too
Which in my mind only helped to prove that answers needed to be given
I don't question your judgement Lord
But please just explain your decision
Because a man who was baptized before his death was given too short of a living
And for all the times I cursed you I apologize and I hope I'm forgiven
But this book that has been written
That is separating people with every new explanation or description
Is getting bland
So, so, so you think you can
Come back to earth and explain your meaning
Because the wolves are dressing themselves up and trying to go after the sheep
I can't believe what I'm seeing
Yet I'm asked to take the risk of coming back every weekend

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These Rappers

I just don't understand these new rap guys

Over masculine testosterone driven exaggerated lies

Homophobic ideals yet ya'll talk about how you "bake pies"

There's no contradiction in your addiction to sipping cough syrup that's owned through a perscription

And you selling drugs to your community, getting caught asking for immunity

But snitching is a no no

Yet when shit hits the fan you realize that jail is a no go

Because you rather be throwing ones at a chick who's making her knees touch her big toe.

I just don't understand these new rap trends

It's okay to portray yourself as a player in your video when the entire world knows you have a wife

They know the first and last name of your girlfriend yet you pretend

To be something you're not for whom?

Because the second your fiance comes into the room you somehow return back to you

And all of those once truthful lyrics now no longer become true.

I just don't understand these new rap dudes

Inserting "pause" or "no homo"s into any phrase or comment that may be miscontrude

But what they don't realize is what those phrases really do

And that's isolate the same population that listens to your music

A community that is only asking for acceptance is being neglected by your masculine lines

About degrading women with all the extra time you have that is not devoted to "the grind"

You must be out your monkey ass mind.

I just don't understand these new rap stars

Who spend their advance on chains that enslaved their ancestors and are really just shiny scars

Rap is the new cotton and the labels are the slave masters

Who will whip you into shape if you're not making the songs that they want any faster than you're making it

And you work harder and harder just taking it

Picking that plant with every single pressed

With every album sold

I just don't understand these new rap guys

And it's not because 24 years is old...



Miles Away

I just don't get it
Why so many of you people choose to watch these shows
About stereotypical idiots or fictional ho's
So called bad girls who really are a waste of space
Reality shows that are as real as a surgically altered face
Not scripted more manipulated
By the puppet masters holding the strings
Throwing mass amounts of free alcohol into the mix to see what it brings
Chaos and stupidity
Yet everyone continues to watch and quote these folks
Situation has a six pack but his age is a joke
But if MTV wants to pay then who am I say
What is right, wrong, or even okay?
I just can't stand these shows now
Wondering how they got on and why they're still here now
The Bad Jersey Shore Game is being repeated for alternate watching
Uhh um what??

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