"Repo-Man"

I remember it like it was yesterday, which is the hardest part. Replaying over and over in my head waking up at 5am to my mom opening my door and saying "your father is gone, he passed away this morning" then going right back to sleep. 365 days ago today and I am still going through it. You don't forget, you just learn how to live with it...but it isnt easy.

Repo-Man took away my father

Now only a hole of pain is left.

Your cell number still sits in my phone

I want to call it but I'm scared of who will answer on the other end

There's no number for Heaven so I talk to the sky

I shed tears in the shower in the hopes they wash away, at least I try

But these tears are never gonna go away.

At the current moment I even question the point of this artistic expression

When all it will do is subdue the feelings that will resurface in a few days

So what's the point of it?

Bittersweet graduation because a seat's missing in the audience

If I gave a speech, "FUCK YOU GOD" would somehow be a part of it

Imagine how that would go over at a church full of Catholics

But it's no use

You can't squeeze life out of someone who's run out of juice.

Fighting my urges to let go and run loose, and say "so what"

But that won't bring you back, matterfact

That'll make things even worse for ones on this Earth.

You see I've never been given anything just like that

I've always been the one to prove myself and have to fight back

I've been the one who worked his ass off to get nice things

Just so that someone could break into my house and take it all back

That's exactly why I act like I came from the streets

Because at the times I would my ass off to at least do some good

A blind eye is turned to my vision, a deaf ear to my speech.

So why even bother tryin to do all that?

When I've been the one who lost his father to jail, divorce, and addiction

And the very instance I start to get him back

God decides it's time to bring/take him back.

How do you yell at a man you can't see?

I don't know how to punch a man who's not there

And the more that I yell, the less productive I become

So i quietly try to do my best to represent my father as his son

I try to stay quiet, silence all the thoughts of all the violence

I want to inflict because I'm tired of this shit

How can you give me a degree but the most important person in the audience isnt there to see me?!!

It just doesnt make sense

Then people often wonder why I get into these moods, and I end up so tense

It's because since the age of 13 my back has been up against the fence

I don't want to be a statistic, I want to be a story of success

But it's hard when you make progress and there's not much to show for it

Or you can't show it to the one person who's been waiting their whole life for it.