"New Love + Lost Love"

That love that we had then

Ain't this love we have now

Let me find out

The lust that I had for you

Has now turned into gratitude

Feelings that I had about your attitude

Faded away when I had to do

What's best for me

And what's best for you

One day I hope there's room for us to do

Something on a friendship level

Those rocks in road now turned to pebbles

I wasn't hearing my heart too well

Just had to adjust my levels

Felt the bass on my face

But my mind had trouble with the treble

Food for thought I guess

For you I have much respect

But back then I guess I was just a rebel

So in so many words I guess I'll tell you

Exactly how I feel

You helped me get through college

And that's realer than real

Nobody can take that

Without your help I'd be skinny and held back

So with everything in me

I'd like to say to you

I loved you then

But right now I have a new love for you...

ode to the race

Wheels spinning
Mind moving at the same speed
Get money by any means
Is the decree that is mine
I need a degree in gettin money
With money everything is fine
That's why I want more than I actually need
All these fucki n bill collectors I gotta feed
Sallie Mae just keeps calling my crib
Can a nigga breathe
Let me be
When I get paid you'll get a piece
But you won't give me peace in return
Want everything from me
So I keep on grinding
Time after time again
I keep finding
Myself between a rock and a hard place
This here's a hard race
It's this paper chase I'm on
Got me running around the city from the morn
To the dawn
Tell me what you on?
I'm trying to get mine before I'm gone
If that means I gotta do some wrong
For me to get on
Imma do it
Not Big Sean
But like Sean "I do it"
Not new to the game
True to the game
I will prove it...

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gutter dreams

Bills piling up
Need this money quick
Down to my last
Can't afford to even get sick
Another day away from work
Shit stresses me out
Gotta fill my tank
And put food in my mouth
Sister needs some money
How am I gonna work this out?
Because if her rent ain't paid
She's gonna get kicked out
Cellphone next week
Sallie Mae like everyday
Harassing my family
Even after they get paid
Lawyer fees
On top of legal fines
I'm so close to losing my mind
Got me thinking about buying that 9
And making someone's check mine
I'm on that red line
Close to the damn edge
I'm tired of living this ife
I gotta do anything for this bread...

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beginning to N...

She's claiming that she's ready
So many lies
Her heart won't hold steady
So she tries other guys
But that amounts to nothing
Give it the college try
Wishing that this will turn to something
Or blossom into what it's meant to
We'll see what happens after we end up doing nothing
What do you want me to give you?
A relationship hard to put in words
Feelings hard to describe
A passion pouring out
Unspoken bond
Sexuality we really can't hide
But outsiders notice it
We don't speak on it
But we know exactly what this is
Going all the way in
I'm giving you my all
I'm betting all my poker chips
Soft words of lust rolling off your lips
Slow winding from your hips
Holding on strong
But if I start to lose my grip
And my hands start to slip
Imma put you on
I'll put you in a bear hug
Feeling this rare love
How do I say it
If we're playing a game
How do I play it
I wanna express myself
But how do I say it?
I guess I gotta think it over
And get my thoughts together
Keep my composure
Emotions in check is best
And as much as I wanna be like "whatever"
This feeling is real
This beat similar to my heart's rhythm
I don't know I should feel
Can you tell me what is next
Probably not
It's just a guess
Man this shit is ill...

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$$$

I need some money
To help me with this grief
If I had some money
Sallie Mae would stop calling me
Because she's been calling
And harassing my family
But if I paid her on time
Her calls would be few and far between...

But I don't know if the ground beneath my feet is gonna hold
At any moment I might feel a shake in the road
I just keep on moving without knowing where I need to go
But if I stay positive I'm guessing that's how things will go...

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"gang greed"

Some say it's not about the money
So what the hell are we doing here?
Because what was told to me
And made very clear
That if it don't make dollars
Then it don't make sense
Because when times get hard
And days get intense
I'm gonna need my money
I'm gonna need my chips
And if that makes me an asshole
Because I'm concerned about my cash flow
Well then I guess I'm an anus
And I'm dumpin on you punks
That's as real as it gets
Until the day I'm someone famous...

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empty pages filled

We all have dreams
Some of them shattered
We listen to opinions
And rarely do they matter
So we keep on striving
Looking for something better
Bringing umbrellas
In case there's rainy weather
That's why we cheer when the sun's out
And cry when it storms
Then pray that Jesus will come out
But if he never shows
At least then we'll know
That our prayers might have been heard
I guess there's some doubt
So we hold on to the words
Used in Bible
This life's about survival
So many people dead inside
This is your revival
I won't say resurrection
Don't want a misunderstanding
No misconceptions
Of exactly what it is that I'm saying
You can't lose if you're not playing
So your voice can't be heard
Until you start praying
Or until you start saying
What's ever on your mind
I've seemed to have lost mine
So this time is for me to look
I'm in a crunch for time
Hearts stolen like a crook
Lessons learned in my life
My experiences are a good book
If you don't believe me
Then I urge you to take a look
And read past the cover
A book like no other
I love my life
And life's a bitch
So that makes her my lover...

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"Lower Than Low"

Feeling all alone

How did I get in this hole

Cursed by painful memories that happened when I was 10 years old

Warmth from my brother as a lover

I can't shake that feeling; so cold

That used against me mainly to get a rise

Balling out my eyes

Cuts on my wrist

A relationship built on honesty and trust

Covered in infidelity and lies 

A love child that isn't mine

But I keep going back to you for some reason

At some point something happened in my mind

That trained me to believe that this is what was okay

That this is what I deserve

I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like

Because the one my parents had

Ended in their separation; forever hurt.

The times he would beat me

I thought it was a lesson he was trying to teach me

Calling me the crazy one

I felt like he was just trying to make his point

Trying to reach me

Now no one can reach me in this pit that I'm in

5 feet down and I'm holding a shovel

Dreams with you burned to ashes

A future with you shattered like those dreams

A love that I had with you felt like passion

But I confused that with my actual screams

Is this a hallucination I'm having

The voice I hear in my head is so familiar

But there's no way it could be

My voice of reasoning because he's no longer alive to see

What has happened to me all of a sudden

Started with so much, now I feel like I'm nothing

Wanting to take what life I have left

And use it to drink, smoke, and cut

Myself until that moment

When I take one last breath...

Dinner alone...

Even though you're gone
I still need to say
Why I did what I did
And why I acted that way
Feelings get lost
When you start to say
That we aren't working and that we should part ways
At a lost for words
My heart's turning cold
Trying to be strong
I'm trying to hold on
I just wish I could have said
This instead of this song
Now I'm talking to myself
Because you have moved on...

What am I missing
Between me and you?
What am I missing
Who do I turn to?
Now I'm eating alone
When it used to be for two
All of my nightmares
Are now coming true...

No one here now, I don't know what to do
My heart is so heavy
I don't think I can move
I know I told you lies
Instead of the truth
I guess I just feared
What it is that you'd do
Or the words that you'd say
The mean things you say you'd do
Wanted to call your bluff
Until the night you had to prove
That you were not bluffing
The things that you do
Now involve him
Because I'm no longer with you...

KR.MA

Should I feel bad when I'm just being honest

Taking part in something that honestly you started

I could say that a trip to this planet would be nice

But I guess I'm just being modest with that

Let me tell you what it's like

Often imagined the other side of your moons

And what it'd be like to be close enough to run my hands on each groove

Let me stop it before I take

To flight on my spaceship there just to escape

Though I've been invited it is a trip that'll have to wait

I just haven't had the desire or the time

But if I close my eyes and really give it a try

I can feel myself landing onto your surface

An unfamiliar feeling trapped inside of me

Will you have the pleasure of being pleasured by the other side of me

The confidence I keep intrigues you

Unless the sun you hold is just a lie to me

Questions you won't ask

Are similar to the ones I want to explore

Though the answers that you provide to me

Take care of that in one swoop

I'm wanting to learn more about this wonderful planet

Let me take a closer look.

"Sunday Stroll"

Am I losing those close to me

Or is this how it's supposed to be?

Because I'm striving for a time where people make a toast for me

A party that I can enjoy

They host for me

But right now there's no choice for me

But the voice in me

Let's me know that this yellow brick road

Is full of life experiences as long as I continue to stroll

And through each moment I begin to learn

Continue to grow

You already know

So it's something else I don't have to teach

No wasted words, so need for me to preach

In the hopes that these words reach

A broader audience than just friends

The same ones that I used to get in with

Seem like I'm separating myself from them

How am I supposed to feel this?

Or is this just a part of the process

I'll have to let you know when it's over

Because I'm not ready to stop yet

"Magic"

A kind of person we had never seen

A 6'9 rookie from Michigan State, playing PG

No look passes

One of a kind

The hunger of lion with a warrior like passion

A ring on his mind after capturing the college crown

With all the lights and the cameras

Focused on him in Tinsel Town.

The finals in Philly

The game after you lost Kareem

That brand new rookie point guard

Who should probably have played the 3

Played all five positions that night

Something we couldn't believe

Scoring 42 points with 15 boards

And winning the Finals MVP.

Then came those Celtics

And all your battles with Bird

A player with a loud game

But was rarely ever heard

Who you had to beat in college to get that chip

That blonde haired white boy

All the way from French Lick

Over time became your friend

After a Converse commercial when you two clicked.

Life was treating you great

You were dominating the game

Winning five NBA titles

While becoming a household name

11 All-Star appearances 

Winning league MVP three different times

Until you made that announcement in 1991

That affected so many lives...

You told the world you had HIV

And you had to walk away from the game you adored

Leaving behind a legacy

That had room for so much more.

You vowed that you would fight this disease

For the remainder of your life

And that luckily you were the only one who caught it

Cookie and your daughter were alright.

It's been 10 years since you announced it

And you still look like you're in good health

Building movie theaters and TGI Fridays

Accumulating a lot of wealth.

But your passion is basketball

So you're an analyst on the side

Showing us proof that Magic isn't real

Because you haven't disappeared from the virus

You've actually managed to thrive.

So to Magic Johnson I say to you

From a fan of yours indeed

You have shown the world that your life isn't over

Even if you have contracted the virus of HIV

Incredible Women

Did I let a good one go? No

I let a great one fly

All I did was teach her direction

And pointed upwards to the sky

Told her that right there is her limit

And as soon as she gets that high

To go a little higher

She could get there if she tried.

Did I leave a good one hurt? No

I taught a great one pain

And expressed my emotions

And told her we're not the same

Told her that there's someone for her

Who won't treat her the same

But will treat her the way she deserves

The only difference, is he won't have my name.

Did I leave a good one lost? No

I let a great one find her way

Explained to her I can't hold her hand

And that today will be like so many days

That you may not understand

And though I can't stay

I am confident in knowing you'll be able to find your way.

Did I leave a good one with no answer? No
I let a great one think it out
Because though we would never fight
There was so much for us to talk about
Body language spoken loudly
But words coming few and far between
I knew she'd be okay
I just focused on getting her to believe.

Did I lie to a good one? No

I kept it real with one that's great

Told her that as much as I'm interested in her

I'm not the one she should date

Between the gap of age and experience

There's a reason we should wait

So don't let your love for me be distorted

By all of your spiteful hate.

Did I leave a good one confused? No
I helped a great one use her smarts
That underneath that ditsy personality
Is someone with a great heart
Great at getting "A's"
But with the streets not so smart
But she believes in her abilities
And that right there is a start.

Do I often run into good women? Yes

But I build relationships with the ones that are great

It's a combination of personality

Timing and morals

That allow me to state

That there was love there at some point

There just isn't that now

But all of you women are incredible

I just apologize for telling you now...

"Confession/Destiny" video by Eighty4 Fly

This is the latest video from Seattle artist Eighty4 Fly. Check it out, he's been burning up the NW scene for a minute. Next to blow up, I'd put money on it!!

lord hear my cries

I'm ready to give up
I'm about one more step away from throwing it all away
Pride I keep throwing up
As I try to swallow that pill time and time again.
Facing jail time for lack of hours served
Mom's fiance getting on my nerves
Making just enough money for gas to get to work
Sallie Mae blowing up my phone asking for their money
And I don't wanna be on this earth...
Thought about robbing a bank real quick
Selling weed in the hopes I can make a quick flip
But I have a college degree so I shouldn't have to be on that shit!
Resume sent more times than called back
Wondering where all the jobs are at
I enjoy what I'm doing but I get no hours so part of me is screaming what's the point?
I make no money to pay these bills
The possibility of jail time is getting too real
And right now the only thing I feel
Is nothing at all...
Something's gotta give
I'm feeling dead while I'm forced to try to live
All I've done to this world was give give give
In the hopes it returns the favor and I'm still waiting.
I'm supposed to be known
I'm not supposed to live at my parents home
I'm supposed to be doing something great with my life
Not fuckin writing poems on my phone at 1AM.
I don't know how much more I can take
I'm just about ready to break
So Lord if you're listening, I beg of you to help me
I'm lost looking for a way to escape..

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limes

I can feel my grip loosening
And the thoughts in my mind resurfacing
Tiny voices whispering
All the things I knew would come true
Yet didn't want to believe
Burying my eyes behind my hands because I didn't want to see
Something so plain and clear
Pilot let out the landing gear
Because this mile high ride has reached it's destination
And the runway is all clear.
Not annoyed more complacent
Not totally sure what it was I was chasing
I was somewhat aware of what I was making
But not quite prepared for what I was facing.
A fork in the road though
Covered by snow so I won't go
The wrong or right direction
But it sounds like the final notes so let the song flow.
Violins over the piano keys
Love playing alongside humanity
In a moment of being human I found myself a casualty
In this cold war.
No missiles launched or guns fired
So why did I hold this much higher
That I probably should have and as a result
I'm just so tired.
Fatigued and breathless
Empty and restless
This is either the end of the beginning
Or maybe the beginning of the best yet...

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Master Class: Maya Angelou

As it is apparent, I write poetry. With that, I would not go as far as saying that I am a poet, as the poets that I love, appreciate, and most importanly respect I hold so much higher than I would myself. It is in that special place, where I hold Maya Angelou. Respected poet, writer, teacher, loved friend, and mother. I had the opportunity to watch the Master Class episode featuring her and I was not only thoroughly entertained, but found myself asking questions about her that related back to one of my family members.

When Maya Angelou talks, people listen. Not only because of her credibility, her status, but more importantly her tone. She has a low, melodic, almost man-like tone to her voice. Her somber voice captures you as your heart tells you that what she's saying is of importance in your life, you just don't know it yet. Listening to her talk about her life experiences I began to visualize her as my grandmother. The comparisons grew slowly, but as the show went on I continued to feel the spirit of m grandmother radiating through the television. The skin tone. Hair color. Red lipstick. Black attire, and sweet voice comforted me the same way my grandmother would. Having lost my grandmother roughly six years ago, it was amazing to watch Ms. Angelou talk, and see her transform into my "Granny Doll".

I recommend that everyone if given the chance to should watch this Master Class. Her insight is refreshing, her message is clear, and her words are motivational. She holds so much power in words, and rightfully so. The way she expresses how powerful one's words are is incredible to listen to. I recommend that every watch this.

Master Class: Oprah Winfrey

I have always had a thirst for knowledge, my father instilled that in me. When he was younger he was tested on his IQ, he tested fairly high; labeled as gifted. Against my father's wishes, my mother had my sister and I tested, and we were both tested as gifted children. I have always felt that I was maybe not more mature in my behavior than my peers, but years ahead of them in my understanding of things. As a teenager my thirst for knowledge could not be quenched. I would think about any and everything whenever I was given the chance to. Fast forward years later to a time where my intellect has now caught up to my mature understanding, and my thirst quenched by information through documentaries.
Oprah Winfrey's show Master Class is an absolute joy for me to watch. I have now watched two episodes, the first one starring Jay-Z, the second being Oprah herself. Understanding and knowing a lot about Jay-Z, there wasn't too much outside of his own opinion and reflections that I have not already read, heard, or seen on television already. The episode about Oprah was very different. Knowing not too much about her story, I was not only captivated by her struggles, inspired by her drive, but more importantly joyful with the person she has become.

For those who are unaware of Oprah's story, and are only sure of her status probably don't know that her road was not an easy one. Growing up in Mississippi during the days of racism and segregation, moving to her mother's house in the midwest and dealing with color descrimination within her own people, rape, molestation, pregnancy, and all the other things a young woman goes through. Most would crumble underneath pressure like that, but some of us turn into ashes in preparation for that Phoenix to rise.
Watching this I felt as if Oprah was talking directly to me. A lot of her reflection on situations in her life, I could feel on a deeper level. I have been to some of the places shes been, not literally, but through her words I could feel what it was like for her.
Without writing an entire paper on this, I'll leave saying this. Sometimes the words of others can touch you in a way that their hands can't. And when that happens, it is all the time, that those words stay with you longer than their touch. Oprah's words touched me.

Top 5 Favorite shoes to hoop in

5. Jordan Spizike

I think I love hooping in these shoes so much because it has components of some of my favorite Jordans'. It has pieces from the III's, IV's, and V's which are all Jordan's that I love and are comfortable enough to hoop in, but have individual issues. This shoe has taken the traction of the III, the comfort of the IV, and paired it with the shape of the VI. A complete win in my opinion.

4. Jordan VIII

These shoes are hella comfortable, and have incredible stability mainly because of the overlapping straps. These shoes were meant for the playoffs, as they don't take long to break in, and seem to mold around your feet fairly quickly. The traction on these are great indoors and the shoe is very responsive because of that. Can't go wrong with these Jordans.

3. Adidas Crazy 8

I've been a Nike or Jordan hoop shoe type of guy my entire life, so when I went to the Adidas store out in Marysville I was a little skeptical to get these. I was always a fan of the design, though the shoe look really cluncky. I will be honest, this shoe takes a few wears to break in, and those wears can be pretty painful, but once you break them in they're great. There is an added amount of cushion around the ankle area to add extra comfort and support as you lace up tight. The traction on these are awesome, as the unique shape of the bottoms of the shoe doesn't collect much dust on the court. Now that I'm seeing Adidas coming out with new colorways of this shoe, I might have to copp a new pair.

2. Nike Hyperdunk

Easily the lightest shoe I've ever played basketball in, which isn't saying much as it's only been recently that shoes are trying to shave weight like prize fighters when it comes to their shoes. What I will say about this shoe is that there is no break in period, and honestly your first or second wear will be unbelieveable. The ankle support is great, the shoe is very responsive to cuts and movements even though it doesn't have much material. The one thing that I wish was better on this shoe was the traction. These shoes collect dust on the court like brooms and I would find myself constantly wiping off my shoes to regain traction. What I do love though, is that after a series of games in this shoe, your feet feel wonderful as your first couple wears are pillow like with this shoe.

1. Nike Hurache 2K4

Take everything that I said about every single shoe, and throw it into one shoe, and voila you'll have the Nike Hurache 2K4. Though this shoe is my favorite (went through two pairs), it does come with it's own set of issues. The only issue I ran into with this shoe was the traction, as the grooves for this shoe are really narrow which collects a solid amount of dust. But put these bad boys on a swept court and you've got one of the most responsive sneakers in the game. The strap adds addition ankle support which is great, the screen on the outside ankle makes this shoe very breathable which is necessary during those long days of hooping. The cushioning is awesome, as it takes many wears for the cushioning to go out in the soles of these shoes. There are a number of colorways, designs, and even NikeID opportunities with this shoe, so the look of it is endless. Hands down my favorite pair and will probably order a custom pair from Nikeid.com real soon.

7 Black men killed in 8 months by Miami PD

It's really hard to justify what's going on in Miami right now, as far as how many of our young Black men are being killed as of late. The numbers keep going up as the days keep going on, and at some point the MPD is going to have a serious problem on their hands.

I lived in Miami for three years while I was going to school out there, and what I can say is that Miami for the most party is HOOD. I don't mean that in a "let's glorify the hood' type of way, I mean in a run down, underdeveloped, dangerous sort of way. Don't get me wrong, people from Miami are VERY prideful about where they're from, regardless of their economic situation. I can honestly say, that out of all the cities that I've been too thus far in my life, the only place that people are more prideful about where their from is New York. This contributes to the communities like Little Haiti, Little Havana, Opa Locka, Carol City, and Liberty sticking together in times like these.

It's no secret that Miami has a voilent history, stemming back to the 80's when cocaine started to become very popular, with Miami being a hub for the drug. Because of it's location, drugs, guns, and immigrants are smuggled often into this city, only making the city more dangerous. The police have to police this city that is ran but drugs, guns, money, and violence; this isn't easy. I have an uncle who is a police chief, so when I hear about police officers being killed in the line of duty, it hurts me because I know that he himself could be one of those officers. But it's hard for me to feel bad when so many police officers are killing so many unarmed victims all over the country.

Where is the problem with this equation? Clearly there is a leak in the system that is sending cadettes into the force as a majority of these officers that are shooting have less than 3 years under their belt. In Miami an officer shot and killed in man when he claimed he saw that he had a gun. Eight days later that officer was a part of tactic team that responded to a bank robbery where he shot and killed another person. This officer killed two men before he could even finish a pay period; that's crazy. Usually when an officer kills someone on duty, they are sent to a pyschiatrist, usually given a few days off to clear their head, and eased back into going out into the streets. I don't think a week is long enough for that officer to clear his head, honestly within that week he's probably still having flashbacks of what happened. This makes for an itchy trigger finger.

Don't get me wrong, being a police officer is probably one of if not the hardest job their is in this country. You are being asked to not only serve and protect the innocent, but be able to make rational decisions in pressure situations. There is a reason why you were given the badge and not any Joe Blow on the street, and it's because we trust that you'll make the right decision when it's time for it. As of late, especially in Miami, officers have not been making the correct decisions in these pressure situations. I pray that the citizens of Miami go to the courts, begin protesting, and speaking out about what's happening as oppose to beginning a war against the police.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"

Letter to Rashida Jones

Dear Rashida Jones,

Hello, my name is Joseph Jessie and I am a big fan of yours. I thought you were wonderful on The Office, and are very funny on Parks & Recreation. I think you're absolutely beautiful, and though you may not know it we have a lot in common.

1. We both love 2Pac. Though you knew him personally, I listen to his music frequently so I know that you as one of his dear friends probably listen to him too.
2. We are both bi-racial. You can understand the difficulties of what it was like growing up as a child of parents with different ethnicities.
3. We both of ties to my hometown of Seattle. I myself was born and raised here, whereas your father is born and raised here himself.
4. We are both very attractive and funny people, or so I have been told, you have proven that.

Now if that hasn't gotten your attention let me just tell you that if given the opportunity I would do things to you that would be illegal in the state of Utah...in a good way. If that hasn't scared you off, I'd like a chance to go on a date with you, to share some laughs, and hopefully some bodily fluids...sexually...or orally...but more sexually.

Sincerly,

Joseph Jessie

Sneak(er) Peak

Today's Kicks come courtesy of Nike. These Air Structures are one of my favorite pair of Kicks because they're a great colorway, comfy, and look great with jeans or shorts.

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Creepy Cricket Guy or Assasin?

Now imagine if the man in the red shirt is actually a hired assasin who is sending a message to his soon to be victim that is watching his favorite sport: cricket. This video somehow just got funnier.

Sax Man Sergio Flores

What I appreciate the most about this video is that he keeps playing the same damn song where he goes. It's awesome! Sergio Flores is above the law lol

Should he have gotten the ticket?

I honestly feel that he has a case as long as the "escalade" got a ticket as well. It's hard to take him serious when he sounds so ignorant but nonetheless he does make a strong argument. I'd knock the ticket to $150 just for the time he took making this video and awesome visual layout.

Then She Cheats

How could you sleep

Around with him

Anyone else

Not a mutual friend

Not really sad

More like I'm pissed

I was a room over, I could hear the shit

I feel a little dumb

This shit is unreal

The only words in my mind I'm thinking, "just kill"

The pain runs deep in my veins still, it gives chill

It's getting hard to swallow this one pill

Imagine how'd I feel?

Don't know if you can

You can't understand

What it was like for me

To hear you fuckin' another man

Honestly I'm handling this shit the best way that I can

But I'm starting to lose my mind

I don't know who I am

And every time I try

To look for me I find

A person who is hurting

A part of me has died

When I sit in silence it's broken when I start to cry

The only question I have for you is, "Why?"

2:45 AM

Am I there yet
Do I care yet
Am I scared yet
Do I appreciate your stares?
Check
Off of my list of nonsense
The only way I could possibly top this
Would be if I were to have some kinda force come and  stop this
Then I die and come back alive
Then describe how the afterlife is
So I guess I gotta try this
New approach to life where I do the least
In preparation for me to do the most
In the hopes the number of haters I have increase
A caged animal has been sleeping silently
Who wants the beast?
Mean streets burned up the insides of me
For years man I tried to be
A good person
Like the good side has been hiding the bad side of me
I try to see
The good in everything
And all that brings is assholes who really don't care to see
Nothing other than their own reality
This feels like a trial to me
And I'm representing myself in court
Trying to hold on to the good while I'm flying off course
I feel I don't really have a choice nor a voice
At least with the tone that I'm using
Looking at my life right now wondering what am I doing
Being too nice to the night
You know what screw it...

Charlie Sheen MSNBC interview spoof (Mike Epps)

One word can describe this video: WINNING!!

Pain vs Hangover

"To drink until the pain over/ but what's worse/ the pain or the hangover?" - Kanye West

Such a legitimate question that I don't think there's a clear answer to. I personally think the hangover would be the worse for a number of reasons.

1. You feel worse than originally did
2. You will only remember the moments that got you to this hangover as oppose to the fun parts during
3. You'll have trouble eating, all you'll want to do is sleep, and be left alone
4. Lastly the very thought of more of what's given you this hangover will make you sick.

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crumbled cookies

A blind man reaches for what his eyes can't see
The deaf man feels for what his ears can't hear
The tall man reaches where the short man can't
and a living man spews a dead man's rant.
The man with no legs climbs up limb after limb
As the man with no arms runs after him
The man with no brain makes foolish remarks
Yet remains sympathetic for the man with no heart.
He feels no pain yet knows of no love
As pale as a ghost as his body lacks blood
Dieing for belonging, something with meaning
He knows something's missing, though he lacks feeling.
He wishs he were blind, short with no arms
No legs for him to use and his hearing all gone
Short with no brain, for all of those he'd be willing
To at least have a heart
So he could feel this terrible feeling.

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VIDEO: How to spot fake boobs

Hey fellas, every wonder "I wonder if her boobs are real or not?" Well this little video I found at Break.com gives you some helpful hints to what you should be looking for to help you figure out if her boobs are Real or Fake. Enjoy

my sickness

So the poem I made a few days ago about the flu I had I found out was just a battle of my War On Sickness. I went to the doctor and found out that I have bronchitis, which would explain my painful coughing for the past two days.
I was given some antibiotics to help me get rid of my bronchitis, and some "lean" for my cough. The cough syrup honestly taste great, but will put your ass to sleep in as soon as 30 minutes. Thanks to the syrup, I'm finally getting back some of the sleep I've lost. Tuesday - Friday I got a total of like 16 hours of sleep, whereas the average person would get about 22-24 hours in that span.
I just took some syrup so imma pass out soon. Word of advice to everyone: if you can go see a doctor, don't be stubborn like I was and try to beat it with over the counter drugs.

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"The Flu"

To the sickness I loathe, can't stand, and despise
That has kept me from sleeping, for three of these nights
That has made my muscles ache
Almost in tears
I haven't felt this sick from you
In so many years
I can't stop coughing, sneezing, or fussing
I just keep on taking pills, cough drops, and some cussing.
I feel like you're on your exit
But you don't wanna leave
So imma keep taking these meds
Until you get the hell away from me.
My nose won't stop running
As I continue to sneeze
Hoping that every blown nose
Is the last blow for what just won't leave...

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Sneak(er) Peak

Oowee look at what I stumbled upon. There are two players whose signature line of shoes get a lot of love and respect in Seattle, Ken Griffey Jr. & Gary Payton. Their shoes were not only stylish, great performance shoes, but were a representation of Seattle...at least to us.
Got these bad boys at Goodwill for $7!! They need a little work, not much but they're in okay shape. I plan on getting em right for Spring time. Yeeeeah!!

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Sneak(er) Peak

Today's kicks are some classic red Vans. You can't be from the Left Coast and not have owned a pair of these or Chuck T's. Gotta stay with the black sock, otherwise you'll look like Michael Jackson when you sit down.

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10 Jokes About Kanye's Pants

As most of you saw, last night Kanye came out during Rihanna's halftime performance of the NBA All-Star game to perform "All Of The Lights" off of his album "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy". Now the song is awesome, one of my favorites on the album...Kanye's pants on the other hand not so much.

10. My sister's prom dress was made of that same material


9. Kanye's pants double as aluminum foil, perfect to cover your Thanksgiving turkey while it's cooking in the oven.


8. I bet you the Crips gave Kanye a pass on this outfit. "Nah homie, you've beat yourself up enough with that outfit."


7. If you were to put Kanye's pants into the microwave it'd start a fire due to his pants sparking


6. I know when you pull jeans right out of the dryer the zipper is burning hot...are Kanye's ENTIRE pants burning hot when pulled out of the dryer?


5. The correct color of Kanye's pants is "Little Richard Red"


4. Amber Rose just lost more popularity points due to Kanye wearing those pants. "Damn girl you were f'ckin with HIM??"


3. "MJ gone/ our n*gga dead"...well you sure have kept his bed sheets alive by wearing them Kanye


2. Stevie Wonder said your pants were making his eyes hurt


1. As soon as Kanye jumped on stage, I felt the fillings in my teeth start to hurt like when you chew on aluminum foil.

Your girlfriend's friend: What it's like

Okay I've decided to talk about something that I'm sure a lot of men go through but never talk about. I, myself have gone through this so many times that it's almost second nature for me to handle it the way that I always do, but not every guy in my situation may know how to.

I've heard from so many men "man my girl doesn't like it that I have any female friends" and I can understand that, and that's because women are bitches. Yeah I said it, women are bitches; mean, evil, cut your throat in your sleep evil creatures. It's not their fault, they just understand that what they have is a good thing and it's in their nature to protect what they have by any means, and when another woman is trying to take what is theirs they will kill that woman in cold blood at the very thought of that. Fellas how many times have you heard, "it's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust her"? Well that explains their mentality (even though it sounds like BS to us men).

Here's a scenario that most of you don't really hear about, or at least men you don't really hear about. Think about the times your girl has had a homeboy that you necessarily weren't too sure about, you think he's actually up to something. The problem only gets worse when she tells you that there's nothing going on between them, and that she actually considers him one of her closes friends.
Now I myself have been on the side of the man, with my ex whose closest friend was a guy whom she's known since high school. I paid some attention to it but after meeting him I stopped worrying about it.
I have also been on the "her friend" side of things which I currently am on now and well IT'S WACK.

Fellas no matter what you say to some of these men to convince them that you're not going after their lady, no matter how many times you see him, no matter what she says, if he's insecure about himself you'll only be adding fuel to the fire. I have done nothing but try to be nice, decent, and polite more so for my homegirl but it has done nothing. 
I am used as ammunition to take shots at them which is unfair because why use me against her? 
Does it really matter why I'm friends with her friends on Facebook?
Why didn't you just tell me you didn't like me when you saw me?
Why bring my name up when you've never met me in person?


I've grown up with women all my life, and for whatever reason that I STILL can't explain to this day, women feel comfortable around me. But not like the "They'll sleep with me" type of comfortable, but they I'll eat a whole tub of ice cream in front of you without you judging me type of comfortable. This apparently makes men who are insecure uncomfortable, but what isn't talked about is how the friend feels. It's hard because as a friend to her you want to be nice to the boyfriend because all you hear from her is how wonderful a guy he is. But as a MAN you don't want to fuck with the person at all because they're behaving this way.


Like I said before, I've gone through this scenario many times so I know how to handle myself in it. I thought it'd be interesting for some of you guys to read about it and just gain a new perspective for the other person as this side doesn't get talked about often.

"Miraculous" by Willie The Kid

I love this song right here. Everything from the beat, the chorus, and the lyrics. Perfect music to ride to.

Incredible Ant Colony video

The video speaks for itself. Damn near 10 tons of cement just to fill the whole thing out!! You made not enjoy it but I sure did...but I also love the show Planet Earth.

Funniest office meltdown EVER

There's always that joke about white people and what'll happen when they get fired from their job, "Oh watch out, Dale is gonna come back tomorrow and shoot the whole office up" and every gets a good laugh while Dale loads up his guns for the morning.
Well rather than taking the time to let his anger fester and turn into something bigger, this man decided to just lose it on site. I have never seen such an office meltdown but I am SO HAPPY that it was captured on tape. Kudos to you sir for bypassing the 7 day notice and putting work at a standstill for about a day or so after destroying all that equipment. Peep the peaceful music, almost soothing while witnessing all the chaos isn't it?

Why humble is the best way to go

If you haven't seen this video yet consider yourself LAME...or just not as much of a Youtube junky as myself. This video right here ranks Top 10 in my favorite Youtube videos of all time. I commend him for taking the risk of going into the ring after putting on such a show. The funniest part about this video other than the ending is that the song that he's going out to is HIS OWN SONG!! Could you imagine Mike Tyson going out to a song that he rapped?? Incredible!

Facebook name changes

As some of you already saw on my Facebook status, I have an issue with Facebook allowing people to change their usernames. Sure I understand that if it's your own page you should be able to make it into whatever it is you want it to be, but to a certain limit.
There are some people who are NOT supposed to be given the creative freedom as everyone else, because what happens is that they make themselves look like a damn fool when their creative juices flowing. The real issue with the Facebook names isn't so much people changing their first or last name to their middle name and last name combination (e.g my buddy Terrance changing his first name to Avery which is his middle name), it's the ghetto people who want to change their names to ignorant ass shit. Here are some examples of what I'm talking about.

Real Name: Jonathan Gathers -------> Jon Jon Trapstar Gathers
Real Name: Denise Summers ----> Necee Fancychik Summers
Real Name: Marcus Johnson ----> Young Pistolholder Johnson
Real Name: Alicia Walker ------> Licia Lightskinredbone Walker

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!! When Dave Chappelle said on his show "We shoulda never gave you niggas money" he might have been on to something. There are times when you are given the opportunity to be creative, and some of those times you jump at the opportunity, and other times you leave it alone. For most of the people in the Black community, I think we should just leave Facebook name changes alone. I know that some of us don't go by the name that is on our Facebook, or go back some sort of variation of it, I get that. But to add an alias to a name that you don't like just to make a name that no one in their right mind would select is well...just stupid!

New look for the blog

Hello Everyone,

First let me say thank you for taking the time out to read this. You could be doing anything right now but instead you're reading my thoughts and feelings, and for that I thank you so much. For some of you who check out my blog from time to time you notice that 9 times out of 10 I'm posting up poetry, and don't worry I'll continue to post up my art. I have decided to take a different approach for a little bit just to change it up and make it more entertaining for my viewers. What's this mean?

*Videos

* Pics

*Random thoughts

*Music

*And pop culture stuff.

I'm looking forward to changing up the blog and making it more inviting for more than those who just love to read my poems. Let's see how far I can take this whole blog thing and I can only make it happen with my viewers so once again thank you.

the ref

I should apologize for these thoughts I've thought
Wondering if you're achievements are really just fluff
Softened by celebrity named pillows
Vacation spots and egos
Ideas soaring like eagles
Lost in your life wondering if we're even equals...
But oh so close we are, you and I
The man you hope for for me died
You talk to me as if he were I or vice versa better yet
Lost all kinds of connection and respect to him
Upset about your neglect from him
You push me away because you won't let him in
You settle for moral victories because life taught you "forget the win"
So many foul moment but you see only the ref in him
I had to talk DOWN to my dad before I could let him in
He had to be diagnosed with Cancer before my heart could get to him
I know you've lost in the past with men
But with this one bet
But this time, bet to win.

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Can't Call It

Fear is a factor
My body simply works as reactor
To ambitious thoughts that float up
Expectations with that grow wings
But perseverance is also present
To hold my hand through reality
Protecting me from pain
Though some is healthy
Lord help me
As we both walk in the presence of sinners
Though I myself have sinned in the process of being a winner
Or least the closes thing to it.
Inspired by a painful song
Soul full of spirit
Embrace that feeling
But no need to fear it

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30 Seconds From Now

I'm tired of having this degree and nothing to show for it
Except calls from Sallie Mae, man fuck it
I'm tired of not going back to selling weed
To make the money that I feel I need
I'm tired of there being no good jobs
I spent thousands for this degree, but what's that mean to ya'll?
Nothin, so let's open up the discussion...
I remember when I was a young man
College never seemed like a plan
More like a wish
Even though back then I was taught that is a degree is what you get
Then a job will follow behind it
Reminded by this economy
That this dream of mine is more liike an inomally
But what's stopping me
From robbing a corner store as I think about it more and more
Actually you know what
I have a part time job which is more than some peoples' luck
Some people have no family, job, or motivation
I have all of the above
I guess life is tired of me bitching
Where's the love...

Bread

Money on my mind like I keep 20's in my pillow

Planting my seed in the hopes this money tree might grows

Repetition like stepping to the line for a free throw

But the pressure's on

I tried to live my life right but life taught me how to live it wrong

Saw things I didn't recognize

I just knew that what I was seeing was really wrong

Dope fiends washing the cars like what are they really on?

That wavy feeling that stunk up the whole house

From the stove to the ceiling

Late nights alone trying to sleep with that spooky feeling

Ya'll know what I'm talking about?

If not I don't really wanna illustrate it

But it's better than you watching as I demonstrate it

Made me who I am now even though back then I would hate

But I was too young to do anything about it

Helpless as I had to take it

Wait I thought this was about mula

Cheese, cheddar, gouda

Bread, ends, money mothafuckas

Bottom line is signed by "Profit Margins"

Initials by Capitalism

Realism.

collection pl8

Led in by the organ and the sounds of the bells
That act as elevator music away from Hell
A room full of winners sit amongst a room full of sinners
Looking to make a change but given cold glares like the winter season
Believing what a man who claims to be holier than thou is reading
I'm believing what I feel in my heart
That my God will shine through the dark
And that your building is not going to be that spark, a fresh start
Separated sometimes it feels like
I questioned God even though it didn't feel right
But my Yai said she also did it too
Which in my mind only helped to prove that answers needed to be given
I don't question your judgement Lord
But please just explain your decision
Because a man who was baptized before his death was given too short of a living
And for all the times I cursed you I apologize and I hope I'm forgiven
But this book that has been written
That is separating people with every new explanation or description
Is getting bland
So, so, so you think you can
Come back to earth and explain your meaning
Because the wolves are dressing themselves up and trying to go after the sheep
I can't believe what I'm seeing
Yet I'm asked to take the risk of coming back every weekend

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These Rappers

I just don't understand these new rap guys

Over masculine testosterone driven exaggerated lies

Homophobic ideals yet ya'll talk about how you "bake pies"

There's no contradiction in your addiction to sipping cough syrup that's owned through a perscription

And you selling drugs to your community, getting caught asking for immunity

But snitching is a no no

Yet when shit hits the fan you realize that jail is a no go

Because you rather be throwing ones at a chick who's making her knees touch her big toe.

I just don't understand these new rap trends

It's okay to portray yourself as a player in your video when the entire world knows you have a wife

They know the first and last name of your girlfriend yet you pretend

To be something you're not for whom?

Because the second your fiance comes into the room you somehow return back to you

And all of those once truthful lyrics now no longer become true.

I just don't understand these new rap dudes

Inserting "pause" or "no homo"s into any phrase or comment that may be miscontrude

But what they don't realize is what those phrases really do

And that's isolate the same population that listens to your music

A community that is only asking for acceptance is being neglected by your masculine lines

About degrading women with all the extra time you have that is not devoted to "the grind"

You must be out your monkey ass mind.

I just don't understand these new rap stars

Who spend their advance on chains that enslaved their ancestors and are really just shiny scars

Rap is the new cotton and the labels are the slave masters

Who will whip you into shape if you're not making the songs that they want any faster than you're making it

And you work harder and harder just taking it

Picking that plant with every single pressed

With every album sold

I just don't understand these new rap guys

And it's not because 24 years is old...



Miles Away

I just don't get it
Why so many of you people choose to watch these shows
About stereotypical idiots or fictional ho's
So called bad girls who really are a waste of space
Reality shows that are as real as a surgically altered face
Not scripted more manipulated
By the puppet masters holding the strings
Throwing mass amounts of free alcohol into the mix to see what it brings
Chaos and stupidity
Yet everyone continues to watch and quote these folks
Situation has a six pack but his age is a joke
But if MTV wants to pay then who am I say
What is right, wrong, or even okay?
I just can't stand these shows now
Wondering how they got on and why they're still here now
The Bad Jersey Shore Game is being repeated for alternate watching
Uhh um what??

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Waves

Overwhelmed by thoughts so deep they could be put into an ocean

Of waves of shallow beliefs that leave me broken

As they wash up on shore.

More and more I demand yet as this plan unravels

I understand what it is that I can and can not handle.

Dismantle the empire of what I hold so sacred

Naked as I walk around fully clothed

Trying my best to escape the harsh wind that pierces through my bones

And down to my soul.

A moment of clarity is needed as this fog rolls in occasionally

With the hope that the sun comes waiting in the back of my mind

Define myself by my work ethic and grind

As I strive to survive this battle that has been going on since the age of 13

This constant feeling of hurting isn't for certain

But it's hurting as it causes an unreal pain

I remain intact

As I swim through the motions and prepare myself to react to what comes

Waves of emotions crashing up on shore

More and more of these waves will come...